


What truly matters

by yvochrali



Series: The Retoldverse [5]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, POV Cordelia Chase, Season/Series 03, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:27:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26054188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yvochrali/pseuds/yvochrali
Summary: Cordelia learns two lessons. One: With what truly matters, you have to have the courage to fight for, before you lose it alltogether. And two: With the right words, you can plant the seed of change, regardless of who you are. Part 5 of the Retoldverse. Set in Season 3. X/C pairing.
Relationships: Cordelia Chase/Xander Harris
Series: The Retoldverse [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1891282
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	What truly matters

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Buffyverse. If I did...well, it just wouldn't be as good.
> 
> Cordelia: If you ever owned the Buffyverse, I'd never get out of Sunnydale!
> 
> (Taps her chin thoughtfully) True.
> 
> Cordelia: See? I'm always right.
> 
> (Glares) Still as tactless as ever, I see.
> 
> Xander: Honestly? I think she's proud of it. No amount of glaring is gonna help you, no matter what. That's Queen C for ya. (Grins)
> 
> (Stares at him) Ugh, thank you for reminding me. Now, on with this chapter!

**What truly matters**

"...Daddy _finally_ gave me his credit card. Can _you_ believe it?!" Aura was exclaiming loudly, checking out herself in the bathroom mirror, as she applied eyeliner.

"Yeah! It's like he didn't trust you or something for all these years." Harmony responded to her "friend".

Jessica scoffed. " _Of course_ he didn't trust you, Aura. Believe _me_ , if he had given you his credit card, you'd just waste it all on clothes, and all the money would be gone. Want to hear my opinion?" She smirked haughtily at her fellow Cordette. "Have a bit of common sense and don't waste all of Daddy-dearest's money this time."

Cordelia sighed as the two girls began to bicker. _Ugh_ , _why do I still even hang out with them? I can literally just feel my IQ go down by a few points every second I spend in their presence._

_Could this have been what people felt around me?_

Aura gasped. "I have common sense!" She said shrilly, indignant that anyone would ever question that.

Jessica lifted a perfectly manicured eyebrow. "Oh _really_?" She asked sarcastically. "And where _exactly_ did that go when you brought _that_ thing you call a _dress_. You're one of the cool people, Aura. Don't dress like a loser; even Rosenberg would not wear _that_ hideous thing."

Cordelia winced, trying hard not to look at them. _Okay, that was a low blow. And Willow does seem to have picked up on some kind of fashion sense._ She was surprised at her own thoughts; a year ago she would have been exactly like Jessica-except with better comebacks- and she was way more subtle than _that_!

Now? Not so much. Hanging out with the Scoobies the past year had somehow managed to influence her to such an extent, that she no longer was able to simply slip back in with her old crowd. It felt...wrong. Distasteful. _You've grown soft, Chase_.

It certainly didn't feel right to revert to just another shallow, miserable person who relied on Daddy to spoil her.

_Maybe I should get a job. That'll show him._

The Scoobies were a tight-knit group. So radically different from one another, and yet so similar at the same time, united by their own messed up lives. They accepted eachother for who they were, and...Cordelia couldn't help but want that. She wanted that feeling of friendship, to be able to lean on people, to not have to pretend.

Just being near them made her realize that you didn't need to put other people down to make yourself feel better, which was not what her parents had taught her. Quite the opposite actually.

_Trust no-one. Do everything to fit in regardless of what you feel is right. Pretend. Well, I don't want to pretend! I'm Cordelia Chase! I do what I want, say what I want...and, and I don't want to be around a bunch of lonely, Queen Bee-wannabees! Not anymore But...I can't just leave. I have to do something. Damn it! I have grown soft!_

"Leave her alone, Jessica." She said calmly.

The bickering stopped. A stunned silence hung in the air as Jessica turned her frustrations at the person who had so rudely interrupted her.

"What did you say to me?" Jessica demanded. Aura simply looked between the two girls, who were now facing eachother, eye-to-eye.

"I _said_ , leave her _alone_ ," Cordelia repeated, looking Jessica coldly in the eyes. She refused to acknowledge the similarities between her and the other girl.

The aching loneliness at caused them to lash out at every imperfection of other people, unwilling to see the imperfections in themselves.

"Or what? Look, Cordy, last time I checked, you aren't exactly..." She looked at Cordelia disdainfully. "...the right sort anymore." She curled her lip in a sneer.

_Right sort? All right, this. is. it. I'm not letting this go...Oh God, what am I doing?_

"The right sort?" Cordelia asked incredulously. "Says _you._ "

"You hang out with losers, geeks and weirdos, Cordelia. I'm just worried that you may be losing your touch." Jessica smiled insincerely at her

_Gloating. She wants you to react. To get angry._

Behind her, Harmony dared to snigger, but shut up immediately when Jessica shot her a dangerous look. _Ruining her moment. She wants the spotlight to be on her. Makes her feel important_.

Cordelia gave her own insincere smile. _Bitch_. _Do you know what you're doing to yourself and others?_ "You know what's funny, _Jess_?" Her smile got wider; more predatory. _Time for a piece of reality._

Jessica narrowed her eyes. "Funny? You're one to talk."

Cordelia shook her head. "No, you misunderstand me." She leaned in closer, putting her mouth close to Jessica's ear.

"Hanging out with losers, geeks and weirdos is just an upgrade from the likes of _you_." She whispered, her grin somehow widening even more. "Bullying others into doing what you want. _Pathetic_."

_Is that what someone should have said to me?_

Jessica sputtered, pushing Cordelia away from her, her face turning red with anger. "You-You...how dare you! You used to be Cordelia Chase, remember? Now, look at you! You hang out with Buffy Summers and her... _friends_! And that creepy librarian! What has gotten into you?!" She cried, humiliated. "You can have everything you ever want, and you choose to...to...be friends with them?"

"Yes."

Jessica looked shocked and, for a few moments, staring at her, seeming genuinely perplexed by her decision.

"Look, I feel sorry for you. I really do." Cordelia continued, maintaining a calm voice, forcing all of her usual snarkiness away. "I'm just moving on from all of that. You should really do the same." _I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it!_ Her heart thudded inside of her chest, betraying her nervousness only to herself.

Jessica was the one to finally break the silence, and to Cordelia's surprise, the other girl just looked helplessly at her, not knowing what to say next. She forced herself to relax.

"H-How do you do that?" She didn't sound hostile now; just lost and confused. Aura and Harmony just looked like they didn't know what to think, glancing at each other, not knowing what to do. Cordelia couldn't help but pity them; with the kind of families they had, they probably genuinely didn't know what to do, other than follow.

"You just do." Cordelia simply replied. "It's hard at first, but you'll survive. Soon," She took a deep breath. "Soon...it won't even matter."

She turned away and walked over to the bathroom door, having every intention of leaving.

"Cordelia."

She heard Aura hesitantly call after her and stopped, her hand on the door handle.

"T-Thank you." Beside her, Jessica shifted uncomfortably, obviously realizing that _maybe_ she shouldn't have been so harsh.

"Don't thank me." She murmured.

She exited the bathroom, feeling lighter than before as if a heavy burden had been lifted off her. The familiar sounds of students rushing to their classes greeted her, including a familiar voice.

"Cordy!" She turned around as Xander walked up to her, his hands in his pockets and wearing his usual goofy smile on his handsome face. "So, we still on for- _hmpf_!"

She pulled his head to hers and kissed him full on the mouth, cutting off his words.

When she pulled back, Xander looked dazed, as if he couldn't believe what his brain was registering.

"I love you." She whispered, pulling him into a crushing embrace.

Xander looked stunned for a moment, before his expression softened, a happy smile crossing his face.

He hugged her back just as tightly, and pressed a kiss to her temple, not caring about who saw what, or the whispers surrounding them from every angle.

"I love you too, Cor."

 _We're so lucky_.

**Finite**

**Author's Note:**

> (Sniffs, blows nose on a handkerchief, sobs) It's so beautiful! (sobs even more)
> 
> I can't split them up! I can't!
> 
> (Carelessly starts throwing original scripts away in the bin behind her as she cries some more)
> 
> No Willow/Xander kiss...(chucks another one)...No Anya/Xander...(rips one in half)...No Cordelia leaving Sunnydale...(sets the last one on fire)
> 
> Cordelia: (Watches all this, stunned)
> 
> Xander: Damn. That's hot.
> 
> Cordelia: (Absentmindedly) Uh-huh.
> 
> (Meanwhile, behind the door...)
> 
> Buffy: (Stagewhispers) She's done it, guys!
> 
> Willow: (Lets out a heavy sigh of relief) Thank God.
> 
> Oz: (Facial expression changes ever so slightly)
> 
> Buffy: Anyway! (Turns back to stare at the camera) R&R everyone and don't- (the fire alarm starts beeping frantically) -forget to follow and like the story -(loud swearing is heard) -and...uh...leave constructive reviews, thank you!
> 
> Willow: Oh, and save us from this crazy person, please!
> 
> Cordelia: PEOPLE! WE NEED A FIRE EXTINGUISHER, STAT!
> 
> (A shout was heard) It was an accident, I swear!
> 
> EDIT: I split them up.


End file.
